The Cannabis Conjuror – Mystery of the nine buds by JB Haze

After all, this column is called The Cannabis Conjuror, so here’s some magical stuff

Last column, I asked: “How do you use the cannabis plant? Do you prefer THC or CBD dominant strains? Do you medicate with CBD? And, if so, to treat what ailments? Are you a daily user or do you partake on occasion? All these things I’d like to know. Information from real people in the real world. Drop me a line. Tell me how YOU enjoy our best friend…

Of the 32 replies that came in, it seems that recreational use remains a high priority for readers, as does stress control/management.

Only a small percentage of readers (18%) reported using the cannabis plant for strict medical conditions, and they were mostly CBD-heavy varieties. Of course, the sample (32 respondents) is way too small to be of any real meaning. So, I’d love to hear from more of you. Send me an email at the address at the bottom of the column. Tell me how and why you use cannabis. All will remain anonymous.

This month’s column was all set to be about pots: Big pots, small pots, ceramic, plastic, coloured, plain, self-watering, etc. All these things, and many other tiny details, do impact upon your grow, and should be addressed. But, they can wait till next issue. I just spent some very pleasant time discussing potty matters with a character who I introduce in my forthcoming book as:


Doc Parker is a mad-as-all-fuck grower of the finest strains, all lovingly cared and caressed towards excellence. He swears that one of his secrets is to tune his pots to the day cycle. At dawn each morning he manually hauls twenty pots from his darkroom, across a paddock, and sets them precisely in exactly the same orientation—in relation to the sun’s path across the sky—as the day prior. His theory is that the plants adjust their leaves to perfectly interface with the sun, and there is no need to force them to waste energy adjusting to a new configuration after each night cycle. So, he marks his pots—and the ground around each—with pairs of markers. By aligning these, the pots can be placed in exactly the same orientation every day.


The attention to detail is amazing, and his plants are amazing. Something else that’s impressive is Doc’s love for what he calls ‘Bud Stunts.’

A Bud Stunt is like a ‘betcha,’ or a bar bet. However, these brain-busters involve the use of cannabis paraphernalia and folk-lore—rather than being centred around alcohol.

Doc gets me again and again with his stunts, forcing me to think outside the box. Trying to solve puzzles and mysteries while under the influence of cannabis is, in fact, a long practice discipline. Artists, writers, astronomers, philosophers; they’ve all dabbled. Cannabis can open the mind allowing one to explore, and understand, complex problems in new ways. I have described in the past how cannabis allowed me to visually conceptualise Einstein’s theory, E=MC2. Not only did it make complete sense while under the influence, I managed to bring the insight back to the lucid side. In that respect, the choice of cannabis had educational value for me. This, and seeing that the holiday period is here—with plenty of time to relax and chill with family, friends, and work pals—convinced me to pass along two of his little stunts for your pleasure and amusement. After all, this column is called The Cannabis Conjuror, so here’s some magical stuff…

Imbibe a little herb and then see if you can solve these for yourself. Remember, the solutions to most puzzles (and magic tricks) are normally very simple. So simple, in fact, they fly under the radar. Have fun. Then, when the opportunity arises, introduce the concepts over a few joints (or a vape session) with your pals. A mighty fine time awaits!




You’ll need a napkin (or a piece of paper) and a pen. Draw nine little buds on the napkin as square 3 X 3 grid. See the photo. The challenge is this: Can you take the pen and join ALL THE BUDS, by drawing only 4 straight lines, and WITHOUT lifting the pen from the paper? Have a good think about this, pen in hand, before you skip to the simple (and rather elegant) solution.




This is more hands-on, with props and all. You’ll need a pack of cigarette papers, some cannabis to roll a joint, and a nice big SOLID bud. All of these things can be found on the able at any self-respecting session.

Begin by rolling a joint and placing it aside for later.

Now, take a cigarette paper, fold it in quarters, and tear a small piece from the corner. When unfolded, the paper will have a small hole through its middle. See the photo. Place the paper and bud side-by-side on the table, as in the photo. Challenge your friends to push the bud THROUGH the hole without tearing the paper or pulling the bud apart.

Can you solve this before turning to the explanation? Grab that joint you rolled earlier and think about it.


* * *




The photograph shows everything you need to know. Sure, the lines extend beyond the grid, but that was not prohibited. The rules were: “… join ALL THE BUDS, using only 4 straight lines, and WITHOUT lifting the pen from the paper.” The solution is, quite literally, an example of “thinking outside the box.”




You’ll want to kick me when you read the solution, but I did give you a good clue when I said, “Grab that joint you rolled earlier and think about it.” This joint is actually the key; the answer to the problem posed. Use this joint (assuming that you have not smoked it) to PUSH THE BUD THROUGH THE HOLE as in the photograph. Boom, Boom! When you perform this for friends, be sure that no one smokes the joint you’ll use to demonstrate your prowess.


Okay, there are some fun moments to share over the holidays. If you are lucky, some of your buddies will also know a stunt or two, and you’ll puzzle away the hours!

These holidays, be kind to your friends and plants. Share the love, share the herb, be at peace.


Best Buds Always …

JB Haze




About the Author

J.B. Haze is an innovative grower favouring “the dazzling magic of regeneration” over the more traditional methods of cultivation. A true hippy at heart — well traveled, well-toked, and insanely curious — J.B. Haze brings an educational, friendly, and humorous style of writing to the cannabis genre. He lives in a fine state of mind with his cat and his guitars.

J.B. is currently editing his second book about cannabis.

Cannabis Regeneration: A Multiple Harvest Method For Greater Yields, by J.B. Haze is available from all good bookstores, online from or with FREE airmail delivery from


Originally published in Weed World Magazine Issue 138



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